Aging, Career, Goals, Health, Life, Midlife Transitions, Midlife Woman, Self Development, Self-Care, Uncategorized

Kicking Tolerations to the Curb

I must be a mermaid. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living. – Anais Nin

This quote burns in my since I first read it on my 41st birthday.

That was the year as a midlife woman that I felt the undeniable call of my soul’s desire; that I felt the undeniable need to live with Intention, which meant casting aside so many things I’d been tolerating that were keeping me from becoming the woman I wanted to be.

Do you find yourself feeling this same sense of urgency?

As you move into midlife you begin to access the true cost of tolerating things in terms of time, money and energy. And you begin to realize how many of the things you tolerate are internally driven.

One of the first things you need to do to start your own [R]evolution is jettison the things you’re currently tolerating in your life. Read through the following list of no-no’s and:

  1. Identify how many of these you’re currently tolerating in your life. Make a check mark next to each one that applies.
  2. Ask yourself what you’re ready to say goodbye to in order to create a more authentic life.

Kick to the curb:

**Anything with the word “should” in it.

**Negative disclaimers or reducers – things that make you feel small: “guilty” pleasure, ”I just think that…”, “Sorry to bother you…”

**Anything that comes after the word “but” because what you really think is at the end of that three-letter word and it negates everything that came before.

**”If only”. If only “X” would happen, then you could do “Y.” Despite what you learned in school, life isn’t linear like some mathematical equation. Stand around long enough waiting for everything to fall into perfect alignment before you do anything is a surefire way to miss our on your dreams.

**Anything with the negative voice of a parent, a friend, a teacher from your past, a boss, a spouse or partner who says you can’t do the very thing your soul is crying out to do.

**The Inner Critic who will never – and I mean never – give you permission. She will thwart, undermine and sabotage you at every turn. She’s got to go (or at least buy her a muzzle).

**Expectations. Others. Your own.

**Guilt, shame, rationalizations that what you want is somehow selfish and therefore not worthy of a place of honor at the head of the table. It’s your life. You’re driving the bus (or maybe it’s an minivan or SUV). It’s okay – no, it’s mandatory – that you be SELFish and put your needs and wants at the top of your list. If you don’t, who will?

**Old, outdated stories that stick to you like surgeon’s glue; that hold you fast to places, people and beliefs that no longer serve you.

**Please and mother-may-I, permission, restriction.

**The armor you use to protect yourself that keeps you weighted down (work, food, people-pleasing, perfection, denial, alcohol, procrastination, cynicism).

**The “not enoughness.” I’m here to tell you (with arms and heart wide open) that YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.

**Fear. “We stopped checking for monsters under the bed when we realized that they were inside us.” Become more loyal to your dreams that your fears. Fear is boring.

**Anything, or anyone, that chips away (or uses a jackhammer) at your self-respect, self-esteem, or your soul’s desire.

**The lies you tell yourself each and every day: “Everything is fine.” “I’m too busy to do something for myself right now.” “I’m too old to start over.”

**Living a mediocre life.

**Living someone else’s life.

Forget what you know about transformation. Forget what you think is possible. Transformation isn’t only about an act of evolution. It’s an act of revolution at the cellular level.

Looking to make that journey to your true self? Check out my book, “[R]evolution: A Soulful and Practical Guide to Creating the Life You Want.”

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