Rather than looking for presents under the tree, I'll be looking for ways to thank all the people in my life who have shared a special moment, a smile, a virtual or real-life hug, a word of support, a laugh or a tear. These gifts are priceless. These gifts can't be found in a store or online, and don't go on sale for $9.99. These gifts are expressions from the heart that have the power to lift my spirit in a way that no material thing can.
It’s been 10 years since my now-ex husband announced with flat, dead certainty that he didn’t want to be married to me any longer – that our marriage was “done,” as if we were a pie baking in the oven. Done.
I am not old…she said. I am rare. I am the standing ovation at the end of the play.
Like many women, I thought of self-care as selfish or indulgent, served up with an undercurrent of guilt. It seemed extravagant – like a weekend at a spa, rather than emotional first aid of the highest order. Like the classic example flight attendants give about putting on your oxygen mask first before helping others, it’s important to tend to yourself first.
Moving forward often demands that we live lost, knowingly surrendering our attachment to who we think we are, voluntarily stumbling around in the dark with little to guide us. Growing is all about leaps into the seeming unknown.
“Shame, for women, is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we’re supposed to be. And it’s a straight-jacket.” ~ Brené Brown
Brenda is part of a tribe of women who were the first to enter the professional world in large numbers, and are the first to encounter the hazards surrounding retirement. Defining themselves largely through their careers, they have challenged traditional models at every stage of their lives, and are now being challenged by their own negative stereotypes about retirement.
After talking with more than 100 women from all across the country, about 50% expressed concern that they were becoming marginalized because of their advancing years. The other 50% had no such concerns. In fact, I had to define more clearly and concisely what I meant by "invisible" in order for them to answer the question. It just wasn't on their radar.
Laughter is often said to be the best medicine. A shot of laughter can change your outlook and help you cope with stressful times. It unbridles you when you can’t see past your situation.
There are times in my life when, despite the significant changes I’ve made, I get in a funk. The truth is I sometimes lose that spark, that fire in the belly that fuels my passion. As is my usual method of dealing with being out of balance, I spend time in reflection - trying to sort out what’s holding me back; what’s holding me in place and preventing me from moving forward.
Professional Coaching for the Midlife Woman 