Oh yes, I can feel it! It’s not just the world around me that’s going inward – I’m heading into the long, cold, dark days of winter. This time of year it’s like my brain does a thorough cleaning – clearing out all the clutter, throwing out all the negative self-talk, dusting off the ideas and dreams that got stalled along the way, and ratcheting up my energy level so I can turn those ideas into action.
There’s a resurgence that’s inspirational, that frees up my thinking and my confidence that I can achieve what I set out to do. As a result, resistance – that pesky saboteur who likes to get in my way more often than I’d like to acknowledge – gets silenced.
Resistance and perfectionism tend to go hand in hand. So many successful, high-achieving women find themselves stalled by these confines of the mind, by the need to be Superwoman. There’s a sort of pas de deux women perform between these two extremes that has them both tap dancing in place and covering the length of the dance floor (while wearing a fifty pound pack on their backs).
Well, allow me to clue you in on the down and dirty truth about trying to be Superwoman, whether it’s in your business or personal life:
- It’ll wear you out. No question about it. It will chew you up and spit you out like some past it’s expiration date piece of sopresso.
- The more you do, the more others want. That’s not because they’re necessarily greedy. It’s because it’s human nature to turn to those who do to get things done.
- Whatever needed your attention today will need it again tomorrow. It’s like the movie Groundhog Day where the same scene keeps repeating itself day after day.
- No one will even notice. Not even you.
- If you think you’re the only one who can take care of it, you need to re-think your own importance. Nuf said.
- The need to be in control is a killer. This from a recovering control freak who, prior to going through “control freak rehab,” had the pitifully erroneous belief that I had to – over even could – control everything around me or the world would stop turning. How’s that for super powers (and super ego)!
- You’re not responsible for the world and all that’s in it. For more on this, see #6.
- The need to be right will leave you lonely and unhappy. I’ve often said to myself and others in the heat of a disagreement: “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” Being too dogmatic about our own righteousness is a sure-fire way to cut down on the amount of company we have. No one wants to be around someone who thinks they’re always right.
- Being a superwoman is a burden. For more on this, see #s 1 through 8.
- Every woman is “super” in her own way, so there’s no need to prove it time and time again! Give yourself a high-five, a pat on the back, or whatever form of recognition most speaks to you, and then: Get. Over. Yourself.
With the coming of winter in my world, Superwoman’s been grounded and it’s time for me to kick it loose and get myself out there in the biggest, boldest, most bad-ass way I can (and resistance and perfectionism are definitely NOT invited along for the ride).
Whether you agree or disagree with me about the cost to your mind, body and soul of being a Superwoman, I’d love to hear from you, so please post your comments here on my blog. Better yet, let me know that you’ve made the decision to suspend your Superwoman tendencies and are planning to fly free and unencumbered into the wild, blue yonder.
Testify ladies! Let us hear you!